Hey beautiful people!! I hope October has been kind to you so far. I have been feeling like I need to talk about the topic of motherhood in today’s society, because we mothers out here are feeling the pressure a little bit and it can all get a bit much to digest. I came up with the term ‘Millennial Mum’, as I thought about my own situation of trying to start up a business in a time when it seems everyone wants a piece of the entrepreneurship pie. I thought about how it can be; sometime difficult and challenging to be creative and bring your vision to life while juggling motherhood and children in the mix. So, this post will address some of those feelings and misconceptions that we as mothers tell ourselves and how we can overcome them to go on and be the great woman we were meant to be!
Keeping up and Fitting in
What a struggle! What-a-struggle it is to keep up with all these new trends, lingo’s, beauty hacks and looks, gadgets etc. If only we could snap our fingers and ‘be there’ with everyone. I must admit, that a lot of the time I feel behind on what is current, trending and new. It takes me a while to get up to speed with it all and then decipher what I like and don’t like. Social media and the internet have made everything so accessible and have really become in a sense influential in what we do and what we follow and I really think this is slowly robbing us of our own identity in a way. It is so easy to get caught up in all the hype and business of the internet world that we forget about who we really are and our core values as individuals. What do I say? Forget that world every now and again. Be true to yourself and take time to rediscover who you are. Accept yourself and where you are. No situation is permanent. Don’t struggle to fit in and keep up with those you see and think have ‘made it’ because we are all different and we all have our own journey.
The art of ‘Juggling’
If only we had eight arms like an octopus, life would be so much easier, right?! The millennial mum is expected to juggle so many balls in her life and still supposed to look good while doing it. We have the children, jobs, homes, bills and expenses, goals and dreams, husbands and partners, friends and social life all to look after. I could keep on going. Through it all we come last on the list and then over time we either reach a place of exhaustion and burnout or resentment of the life we are living. Don’t get me wrong, I know we have to multi-task as mum’s, especially in today’s world where the demand and expectation on us is so high. However, we sometimes take on too much and our plates become to full without even realising it and then we just crash.
So what can we do about this? Well, we will never be able to completely eliminate the juggling act, but a few simple adjustments will serve us better and help us to keep on top of things. Adjustments such as prioritising your tasks daily and doing what is most important/urgent first.
Making lists. It seems like such a simple task, but once you have been hit with ‘baby brain’, it never really goes away and your memory literally becomes a sieve. Lists will help to keep you on your toes and help with productivity during each day.
Lastly, a key characteristic of patience. Motherhood really teaches you the art of patience – well has done for me. You will find that patience really will make you look at things differently and usually helps with coming up with a logic solution to problems rather than acting out of worry and anxiety. If only we practice it enough though!
Comparison – The thief of joy.
You only have to look around you and it is that easy to let comparison creep in. Am I good enough? Am I doing enough? Have I achieved enough at this point in my life? These are some of the questions I find asking myself if I do not check myself and my thoughts and I am sure some of you mums out there can relate too.
Comparison really is the thief of joy. It robs us of living in the present moment and appreciating the blessings we have in front of us. Wishing we were in a different place in life or we had more or less of something, in some ways allows us to wish away precious time with loved ones, family and friends and doing what we are passionate about/makes us happy. So the next time you find your thoughts drifting in that direction, make a conscious effort to check your thoughts and remind yourself that you are indeed blessed, you are loved and YOU ARE enough , so no need to compare.
Last point I want to touch on is the pressures we feel today to be the ‘perfect mum’. Combining the previous points together, there is so much pressure on us mothers today, especially the younger mums, to have it all together and deliver on all the expectations put on us. There is so much information out there and opinions readily available (sometimes unsolicited), which can make us feel overwhelmed and ready to feel defeated before the journey has even begun. I just want to let you know that, advice and information are good, but don’t beat yourself up if you do not conform to someone else’s standard of what a mum should be. We are all different and our children are all different. We all have various ways of doing things, but in the end our sole goal is to make sure our children are happy, healthy and developing into beautiful young people who will go on to be our future.
You don’t have to be made up everyday, it’s normal to have stained clothes on at some point during the day (especially those with younger children), we all have down days and need a little ‘me’ time and we all make mistakes. We are only human, just like everyone else. Don’t beat yourself up about it all, the world we live in today does enough of that for you. Enjoy the highs and push through the lows – they don’t last forever 😉 It is all part of the process of shaping you to be the best mum you can be and that you certainly are!
I hope this post touches even just a few millennial mums out there who may feel like they are struggling and need a little word of encouragement. What ever your heart desires is possible, it just takes a little time as millennial mum.
Until next time,
Ohemaa Beauty xoxo