Mum. Working mum. Me. This is how my life looks to me right now. I know it should be, Me, Mum, Working mum, but that is not my the reality. When you become a mother it is most likely to become the first and most important job in your life. Then you think about work and providing for your children/family and that becomes the second most important job in your life. Then comes Me. As mothers, it is so easy to put yourself last to try and juggle the life of being a mum.
This is where my question comes in. Can we really have it all? Some say yes, others say it is impossible. I think it is possible, but it requires a lot of planning and organisation. There will be times that you will feel immense guilt for not spending enough time with your children or lacking in helping with social and educational development. Wanting to provide a better and more secure future for your children is perfectly normal, but I do believe there needs to be a line which is drawn between having it all and enjoying the moment.
As I write this post, I am sat down watching a movie I stumbled across while flicking through Monday night tv (not much choice, even with Sky). The movie is called ‘I don’t know how she does it’, telling the tale of a mother who is a working mum, but her job (which she loves a lot), means that she is constantly juggling her work and family life while struggling to stay true to herself. As I watch her constantly making trade off’s on either side, I reflect on my own life and how I am always feeling like I am trading off my children to be able to work and provide for them or how I am trying so desperately hard to start my own business, but having to spend chunks of time away from my little munchkins.
I won’t lie, there are times when I doubt my decisions or question whether I am doing the right thing. I cry quietly sometimes when I over think certain situations or get a little down when I feel like my plans and dreams for my life and my family are not quite going the way I want, but it means I am normal and I care. Is it ideal? Not always, but I am thinking of the bigger picture where putting down the hard graft now means that in the very near future my children and myself will start to enjoy the benefits of my ‘trade offs’. However, I do feel that it is important to schedule time out with the family and children to make sure they feel your love, care and know that you are there for them no matter what.
Every mother does what she feels is right for herself and her family from the very get go. Whether you decide to become a working mum, stay at home mum or a bit of both, please know that being one over the other does not make you any less of a good mother who loves her family and children. We can have it all because we are mums, we can have it all because we are superwomen, we can have it all because we choose to. Don’t ever feel bad for wanting it all. Just know it comes with a little more hard work. 🙂
Love and blessing for the week,
Ohemaa Beauty xo